Have you ever had one of those days where you think why in the hell do I need to get out of bed? Or better yet what the hell am I doing? The past few days I've been having a pity party. This past week, school has kicked my ass with having precision neuromusclar therapy seminars on the back and legs. Then getting tested at the end the week with a hands on test where we have to name muscles, their attachments and actions. And just when I think I'm doing really good and I'm getting confident, I freeze during the test and my brain does a complete shut down. So bad mind you that the instructor states that we need to stop, I need to go back and review and we'll test later. He also shared with me that I was the only one in my class that blurred out "fuck" not once, or twice but 5 times.
I look around the school thats filled with students that haven't made it to the 30 year mark. They're laughing and bullshitting through their test not sweating and cursing like a sailor like I am. And that's where the question of what the hell are you doing comes in. What am I doing? Why do I feel so overhelmed? Why do I feel like I'm taking this way to seriously?
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3 comments:
Hey you - don't forget that you're a smart woman. You've made it this far. You're going to do just fine. Take your pity party and have a good, long, frustrating, crappy, shitty fucking time with it. You need this to get through the rest. Don't be so hard on yourself. btw: Fuck is a great word. And five times is a good number to use it when your brain goes on vacation during a test. Just because it wasn't uttered aloud by anoyone else doesn't mean they weren't muttering it under their breath! You're gonna do just fine.
Hey chicky, give yourself some credit. Not only are you a student, you're also a mom and I'm guessing a wife. Those 2 things alone probably occupy 90% of your brain. Those kids under 30 probably only have to deal with occasionally dragging their asses to class and what bar they're going to hang out at night.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Ok, as of today, I'm done with the pity party and I'm moving on. I'm pumped. I've watched the movie "The Secret" and I'm looking at things a whole new way. I can and will do this! :-)
Thanks gals!
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